Introversion

I have always found the question of introversion vs extraversion interesting. Perhaps it is because I have always been fond of being by myself. It is weird trying to fit into a world where the norm is to be an extrovert. The movies and tv series always portrait people with friends and an active life. But yet again, why wouldn't they? There wouldn't be much going on in a tv-series etc without multiple characters to bring the story forward. 


Yet this creates an expectation on us which is unrealistic. Most people don't date 5 guys in one month (sex and the city) or have a diverse group of friends that do everything together (friends, how I met your mother)... Especially us introverts have problems making this happen. We need to be alone. And, at least for me, this has caused me to not have as finely tuned social skills as the more extrovert people I know.


But what is introversion and extroversion?

Extraversion is when you get energized by being with others. You find being by yourself a challenge. People who are extroverts are also more able to come up with quick responses than their introvert friends (check out the youtube videos on introversion vs extraversion.) 

  Belle from Beauty and the beast can be considered an introvert. Especially at the beginning of the movie. She prefers reading a good book rather than hanging out with Gaston and the other villagers. This is a mark of introversion: you're energised by being alone. If you're too long in the company of others, you feel drained. That is, if you have to interact with them. Being in the same room as someone isn't necessarily draining in itself. My own experiences have been that if I have to relate to people when I don't want to, I can get hostile feelings towards them.




Being a introvert isn't the same thing as being shy. Most of us introverts are able to converse with strangers, as long as we have the energy. It's mostly the feeling that hanging out with you're friends is the same as a good workout, fun but draining. There are also shy people who love being with others, once they get over the shyness with someone.


Society tends to reward extroverts. Most job-ads say that they want someone outgoing. We also tend to prefer those who are extroverts as friends. It's easier to hang out with someone who is good at socialising. And many introverts pretend to be extroverts. Many of us know the feeling of dread regarding an upcoming party, but feel we have to go, it's expected of us. Few people will just say, "sorry, I hate parties." Yet about 50% of us are supposed to be introverts. 


But maybe introverts aren't pretending to be extroverts, we're just not that visible. In this respect, the internet is a revolution. We can now communicate without having to be in a discussion. For those of us who need a couple of hours to truly digest information and come up with a response, this is a blessing. For it isn't always the quickest responses that are the best. Pierre Bourdieu, for an example, used to decline debateinvitations as he meant that they don't measure you're arguments. They measure, according to him, you're rhetorical abilities.


I will end this post with a short clip taken from youtube which also draws on MBTI  (I love the Regina song)   

Sincerely, me